STAGE WEDNESDAY 7/9 Cabaret "ABBA the ...
WEDNESDAY 7/9
Cabaret
"ABBA the Music 2003" Katja Nord, Camilla Dahlin, Martin Hakansson & Henrik Olsson sport ABBA's clothes & attitude while singing 20 of their hits incl. "Waterloo" & "Dancing Queen"; B.B. King Blues Club, 237 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-997-4144; 8, $35.
The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act w/classics incl. "Stairway to Heaven" & cheesy renditions of Eminem hits; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].
Norman's Big Night Out Norman Gosney ups the ante for fabulous w/song, dance, comedy & vaudeville; Show, 135 W. 41st St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-278-0988; 10:30, $25.
Open Stage Jamie Stellini hosts night where anyone can overtake mics & amps to brandish poetry, comedy & music-it ain't called "open" for nothin'; Infra-Red Lounge, 210 Rivington St. (betw. Pitt & Ridge Sts.), 212-254-5043; 8, free.
Comedy
Demetri Martin takes a break from opposite-hand whiffle ball to make you laugh; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 9:30, $16.50 & 2 drink min.
Eight Is Never Enough! Part of the Times Square Comedy Jam, this show feat. good ol' sketch comedy & improv-plus plenty of satire & impersonations; Club Esquilita, 301 W. 39th St. (8th Ave.), 800-630-7144; 9, $20 incl. unlimited drinks & food.
Jim Florentine Crank Yanker terrorizes your neighborhood; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 7:30, $18 & 2 drink min.
Colin Quinn stars w/Tony Rock, Kevin Brennan, Hood & Godfrey; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs., Sun. & Mon. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].
Dance
"A Hydra-Headed Fungus That Dances" Fungus glorifing Pilobolus Dance Theater pres. three premieres that incorporate the strength & exactitude of the macroscopic organism into dance w/"My Brother's Keeper," "Star-Cross'd" & "Wedlock"; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $40 [repeats Thurs. at 8, Fri. at 5, Sat. at 2 & 8, through 7/19].
Lincoln Center Festival Dance Theater of Harlem makes first appearance at Festival this year. Primo ballet co. premieres blues infused work "St. Louis Woman," based on musical of same name. Progam B incl. sensual "Serenade" & Jerome Robbins' hit ballet "Fancy Free"; NY State Theater, 20 Lincoln Center, B'way (64th St.), 212-870-5570; 8, $25-$75 [repeats Thurs.-Fri. at 8, Sat. at 2 & 8, Sun. at 3].
Midsummer Night Swing 2003 Whether your competitive side or your skin feels neglected, join the "Vaseline Intensive Care Smooth Moves National Dance Competition" hosted by Midsummer Night Swing w/celebrity ballroom-dancing champ judges-plus Country Music Hall-of-Famer Hank Thompson motivates Saturday's Western Swing; Josie Robertson Plaza, Lincoln Center, Columbus Ave. (betw. 62nd & 65th Sts.), 212-721-6500; 6:15 [repeats Thurs.-Sat., through 7/26].
THURSDAY 7/10
Cabaret
Comin' Home: Songs of the South Audrey Lavine resents Canadian pop sensations of similar names & Scott Coulter joins her; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, $15 & 2 drink min.
Magical Madness Cadabra, Cardone & Gorlick perform weird rituals & the "warlock test," plus tricks such as voice-throwing & mind-reading; Tagine Dining Gallery, 537 9th Ave. (40th St.), 212-564-7292; 8, $10.
True Love Waits Christopher O'Riley covers Radiohead songs for those who enjoy sacrilege-though in all fairness, Rolling Stone gave his new CD four stars; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7:30 & 9:30, $25, $22 adv.
Comedy
Gotham All Stars The professionals take over the mic tonight; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sun.].
The Happy Hour Drink yourself silly w/ha-ha honchos incl. Tim Halpern, DC Benny & Rod Reyes; Downstairs at Porters, 216 7th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-242-2422; 8:30, $7 & 1 item min.
Menches of Comedy A show so kosher you can bring your Yiddeshe Mama, hosted by Lenny Marcus & feat. Dan Naturman & Modi; Center for Jewish History, 15 W. 16th St. (5th Ave.), info 917-606-8200 x4; 8, $30.
Rich Vos The first white dude on Def Comedy Jam promises jokes not shown on the DCJ infomercials; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 10, $21-$25 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7:30].
FRIDAY 7/11
Cabaret
Shock and Awe A-Go-Go! Epstein & Hassan, aka "The Black & the Jew" provide erotic comedy for gay & straight alike-yes, there will be male strippers; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-691-1900; 11, $15.
Taylor Mac The Face of Liberalism-Songs of Love, War & Mass Consumerism: hysterical tour de force, call 212-539-7630 for res.; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; 8, $10 [repeats Sat.].
Comedy
"Above Kleptomania Improv & Sketch Comedy Theatre" Erik Marcisak pres. 223 long-form improv artists, in teams w/names like "the Royal We," "Fade In," & "Your Mom," performing pieces based on audience suggestions; Show World, 671 8th Ave. (betw. 42nd & 43rd Sts.), 212-586-7829; 8 & 10, $10, $8 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].
David J. Nash & Rich Francese The masterminds behind Nash Bridges & Chicken Francese; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $16 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].
The 5th Annual Del Close Improv Marathon 90 troupes provide 54 hours of non-stop improv until Sunday-sounds insane!; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 22nd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves), 212-366-9176, www.ucbtheater.com; 6, $15 weekend pass [repeats Sat. & Sun.].
Latino Laughter Latino comedians let loose & you will have no choice but to melt into a puddle of giggles; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 8, $10 & 2 drink min [repeats Sat. at 9].
William Stephenson hosts stand-up feat. JJ Ramirez, Ellen Cleghorn, Buddy Bolton & Vanessa Hollingshead ; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.
The Grown-Ups Playground & Undiscovered Treasure Pretend you are a pirate & dig for hidden booty in the sandbox w/your drunk friends at this comedy/improv event; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 6, $10 & 2 drink min.
The Next Big Broadway Musical Cute troupe improvises entire musical-no lie; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 10, $10 & 2 drink min.
Tommy Davidson In the flesh-see how he holds up minus the "Fly Girls"; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 10:30 & 12:30, $38.50 & 2 drink min.
Dance
AdrienneCelesteFadjo Dance Young choreographer makes her New York City debut w/"Two for Two" & "Spilt Down the Middle"; Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St. (Washington St.), 718-482-3512; 9, $12, $10 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].
Dance Brazil Indulge in the delights of the Afro-Brazilian movement to America. Performance incl. excerpts from "Canavial" bringing together traditions & Jelon Vieira's fresh creativity; Prospect Park Bandshell, 9th St. (Prospect Pk. W.), Park Slope, 718-855-7882 x52; 8, $3.
SATURDAY 7/12
Cabaret
Cary Hoffman performs Sinatra classics w/the Stan Rubin Orchestra...and listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 West 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-957-9676; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.
The Kick Ass Clown Cabaret Broadway caliber clowning, improv & such-Sarah hates clowns; People's Improv Theater, 154 W. 29th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-563-7488; 8, $12, $6 w/tie.
The Sexy Man Show Male revue produced by women, for women, feat. drag host, comedy & hunky dancers-www.thesexymanshow.com; Discotheque, 17 W. 19th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-352-9999, info 212-807-6795; 7:30, $25-$30.
Comedy
American Treacle Push Show Bricken Sparacino & Mike Birch host a night of stand-up, puppets & videos; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-545-8000; 9, $5.
The Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Liam McEneany w/Erin Foley, Bryan Olsen, Paul Horrocks, Allison Castillo, Noelle Romano, Karen Sneider, Larry Getlen, Ray Field, Shelagh Ratner & Carmen Lynch; East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), 718-624-8878; 9:30, $5 & 2 drink min.
Kerry McNally hosts stand-up feat. Laurie Kilmartin, Brad Trackman, Todd Lynn, Ellen Cleghorn, Joe Vega & Tony Rock ; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 6, 8, 10:15 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.
Off the Top of Our Heads "Whose Line Is It Anyway"-style show involves audience in good old-fashioned improv games; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7, $7.
Pod v2.1 Time travellers from 5047 have returned to make fun of us & our backward ways...; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 9, $7.
"Poole Party!" Ron Poole returns w/his hit comedy-variety show feat. stand-up, musical & improv-provoked laughs; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.
Tommy Davidson What really happened between him & SW1?; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 10:30, 12:30, $38.50 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sun. at 9:30].
SUNDAY 7/13
Cabaret
Downtown Revivals Performances by the brightest & best stars of cabaret, tonight see BJ Crosby; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, $12 & 2 drink min.
"Make Love" Just another controversial performance artist (Karen Finley) doing the 'Liza Minneli as an exploration of the current chaotic state of the union' thing; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), RSVP 212-533-2680; 8, $20.
Comedy
How Bazaar & Crux Four ensembles in two hour-long pieces (McKellog Report & Pembo are at 8:30) feat. improvised & sometimes audience-inspired scenes w/crazy characters in unusual situations; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7:30, $5.
Komedy Kebob Meat to make you laugh on a stick. Comics from MTV, Comedy Central & other places; Bar 107, 107 N. 6th St. (betw. Berry & Wythe Sts.), Bklyn, 718-302-3313; 8:30, free.
MONDAY 7/14
Cabaret
An Evening with Brett Somers This star of stage, silver screen & boob tube brings you herself, live & in person; Danny's Skylight Room, 346 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-265-8133; 7, $15 & $10 min.
Monday Evening Burlesque Weekly production feat. "classic burlesque tassel-twirling fun" & local stars, this week w/Kitty Diggins & Harvest Moon; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 9:30, free.
Rich Hall is Otis Lee Crenshaw Letterman legitimately believes alter-ego Chrenshaw is funny, likely due to songs entitled "Tonight the Malt is Single and So Am I," what more do you need to know?; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7:30 & 9:30, $15.
Comedy
"Blue Mondays" How does it feel to have Tony Woods treat me like you do? Comedy from the best incl. Todd Lynn, Dean Edwards, Steve Byrne, Kyle Grooms, Dawnel Rawlings & Rondel Hartley; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:45, $5 & 1 drink min.
Vic Henley raises the laugh bar w/Steve Byrne, John Priest, Pete Correale, Russ Meneve & Jackson Perdue; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50-$20 [repeats Tues.].
Six Eggs Comedy Enjoy late brunch, mimosa & a giggle when Ed Herro hosts a dozen NY comedians; Patio, 31 2nd Ave. (betw. 1st & 2nd Sts.), 212-460-9171; 8:30, free.
Dance
KOE a Butoh Dance Performance & Art Exhibition Master butoh dancer Atsushi Takenouchi directs Japanesse dance KOE, or "voice," set in the Lower East Side synagogue; Angel Orensanz Foundation, 172 Norfolk St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts), 212-529-7194/ 212-964-2124; 8, $10, $8 st./s.c.
TUESDAY 7/15
Cabaret
Automatic Vaudeville Weekly series hosted by Hilly & Gavin Souchet attracts comedy, music & performance artists; Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $5.
Comedy
"Big Daddy Addy's Variety Review" Eddie Brill hosts musical comedy show w/guest comics-plus maestros Adam Roth & the Jaded Six; Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-358-1633; 10, $7.
Chopshtick The oxymoron that is Asian-American comedy; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 6:30, $10 & 2 drink min.
Getting Hotter by the Day Dannah Feinglass of Upright Citizens Brigade Theater takes you to dweeb fantasia, complete w/original songs; the Tank, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 9, $5.
THEATER
IN PREVIEWS
Flesh and Blood Adapted from the best-selling novel by Michael Cunningham, not the platinum-selling Poison album; New York Theatre Workshop, 79 E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $60 [opens 7/16].
RECENTLY OPENED
The Basset Table Restoration comedy remains classic, even if some directors feel the unaccountable urge to modernize it; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; call for times, $15 [through 7/13].
Boobs! The Musical "The world according to Ruth Wallis" w/songs from her old catalog & book by Steve Mackes & Michael Whaley; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Fri. & Mon. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, mat. Sun. at 3, $50-$55.
Change of Seasons "Alliances change with the seasons as two charming men romance the same rich, beautiful woman"...directed by Marianna Loosemore-that must've been a tough adolescence; 13th Street Repertory, 50 W. 13th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-675-6677; Thurs.-Sun. at 7, $15, $10 st./s.c [through 7/13].
Companions The Midtown International Theatre Festival pres. a wise & witty tale of Irish-American love in Bay Ridge; the Abingdon Theatre, 312 W. 36th St. (8th Ave.), 877-737-3285; 6:40, $15 [through 8/3].
The Daughter-in-Law D.H. Lawrence wrote this play-about tension-filled marriage (blame the mother)-in 1911, but no one even knew about it until 1965; Martin L. Platt dir. this resurrection; Mint Theater, 311 W. 43rd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-0255; tkts 212-315-0231; Wed. & Thurs. at 7, Fri. & Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $19.
De La Guarda Special DJ-enhanced version feat. progressive house DJ Satoshi Tomiie; Daryl Roth Theatre, 20 Union Sq. E. (15th St.), 212-239-6200; 8, $20-$55.
Dream a Little Dream Denny Doherty stars in musical about former bandmates John & Michelle Phillips & Cass Elliott; Village Theatre, 158 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2:30 & Sun. at 3, $45-$100.
Enchanted April E.M. Forster-esque tale of British on holiday in Italy; Belasco Theatre, 111 W. 44tth St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45-$80.
The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St., 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55 [through 8/31].
The Fisherman of Beaudrais Unpublished screenplay by Ring Lardner & Dalton Trumbo about an aging, 1940s-era French tramp who passes himself off as resistance hero for free wine, only to sacrifice & become true patriot in the end; Bank Street Theatre, 155 Bank St. (betw. Washington & West Sts.), 212-561-9635; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $10-$15 [through 7/20].
From My Hometown "Three young men dream of singing at the Apollo, feat. over 30 classic R&B numbers"; Kirk Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; call for times & pricesócloses 7/12.
Getting Into Heaven Writer/actress Polly Draper ("Thirtysomething") in drama about "sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll & motherhood"; The Flea Theater, 41 White St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-206-1515; Wed.-Sat. at 7, mat. Sat. at 3, $25 [through 8/2].
Golda's Balcony Play about the only female prime minister of Israel; M.E.T., 55 Mercer St. (Broome St.), 212-239-6200; call for times [through 7/13].
Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about plump girl's attempts to racially integrate teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$100.
Hamlet Shakespeare in the Park(ing) Lot's 2003 season continues; Ludlow Ten, 85 Ludlow St. (Delancey St.) call for times, free [through 7/26].
Hank Williams: Lost Highway But what about Bocephus? Guess Broadway ain't ready for "O.D.'d in Denver"...; Little Shubert Theater, 422 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices.
Henry V Heart-throb Liev Schreiber as Shakespeare's most charasmatic king; Delacorte Theater, Central Park at 79th St. (betw. Central P.W. & 5th Ave.), 212-539-8750; call for times & ticket info, free.
I Am My Own Wife "Real-life German transvestite manages to survive both the Nazi onslaught and the following, repressive communist regime" in play by Doug Wright (Quills) & Moises Kaufman (The Laramie Project, Gross Indecency); Playwrights Horizons, 416 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $15-$50 [through 7/20].
Icarus & Aria Kirk Wood Bromley & Aaron Beall (who directs) update Romeo & Juliet to the modern Southwest; Cheetah, 12 W. 21st St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves), 212-206-7770; tkts 212-581-6232; Sun. & Mon. at 7:30, mat. Sat. at 4, $20.
Lincoln Center Festival 2003 pres. MacBeth Here's a story 'bout this honey MacBeth that I met one day on the way back from; John Jay College Theater, 899 10th Ave. (betw. 58th & 59th Sts.), 212-505-0585; Wed.-Sat. at 8:30, $55 [through 7/12].
Lincoln Center Festival 2003 pres. MacBeth Here's a story 'bout this honey named MacBeth that I met one day on the way back from; John Jay College Theater, 899 10th Ave. (betw. 58th & 59th Sts.), 212-505-0585; Wed.-Sat. at 8:30, $55 [through 7/12].
Mack the Knife: the Life and Music of Bobby Darin "From teen idol to Copacabana hipster, Bobby Darin topped the charts, melted hearts and broke all the rules of pop music"; St. Peter's Church, 619 Lexington Ave. (54th St.), 212-935-5820; Wed.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Wed. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3.
Martyrs, Victims, Fighters and Theives: The Myth of the Model Minority New play debunks Asian-American stereotypes, like new Americans play deep funks on Asian-type stereos; Medicine Show, 549 W. 52nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-262-4216; Sun. & Wed. at 8, $15 [through 7/20].
Mixed Stage Monday Eight themes for eight nights of "theatrical happenings"; 92nd St. Y, 1395 Lexington Ave. (92nd St.), 212-415-5500; Mon. at 7:30, $10 [through 8/25].
Mono "Interactive play" moves into new space; 320 W. 37th St.(betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-358-3447; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $15, $10 st.
Nice Guys Finish... Provocative exploration of dating; the Abingdon Theatre, 312 W. 36th St. (8th Ave.), 877-737-3285; 8:55, $15 [through 8/3].
Our Lady of 121st Street New play by Stephen Adly Guirgis (directed by heartthrob Philip Seymour Hoffman) decamps for off-Broadway; Union Sq. Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-505-0700; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30-$65 [through 7/27].
Out From Under It Rip Van Winkle wakes to find he's starring in chic lit; Vital Theatre Co., 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-592-0129; call for times & prices [through 7/19].
Pieces (of Ass) Original monologues from random beautiful women, this week Trichelle Cannatella laments her role in the worst Real World ever, in whch she frequently found herself in the "recently opened" catagory; Theater 80, 80 St. Mark's Pl. (1st Ave.), 212-868-4444, www.piecesofass.com; Thurs. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, $35-$40 [through 8/3].
The Play What I Wrote Directed by Kenneth Branagh & starring surprise celebrity guests; Lyceum Theatre, 149 W. 45th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, call for prices.
President Harding is a Rock Star You too can hit the East side of the LBC, on a mission trying to find Mr. Warren G!-surrealist portrait feat. dark & funny fears & follies; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Fri.-Sun. at 7, $15 [through 8/3].
Raisins Not Virgins "Unwittingly, Sahar embarks upon her own jihad, complete with therapeutic drinking and a dubious flirtation w/avant garde art"; Producer's Club II, 616 9th Ave. (betw. W. 43rd & W. 44th Sts.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $15-$20 [through 7/13].
Rock Stars NYC "The newest off-Broadway, live, rock 'n' roll-theater experience" w/music from Copper Pot, Jana Peri, Zeta Bane & Electric Magic Side Show; Polly Esthers, 186 W. 4th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-249-7373; call for times & prices.
7 Blowjobs Blackmail at a conservative, Republican senator's office exposes more than the naked pictures that got them into this mess; Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-316-0400, tkts 212-868-4444; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 7/13].
Slap & Tickle "serves as a generational portrait of those who grew up knowing about AIDS before sex, and condoms before kisses"; The Independent Theatre, 52 W. 8 St. (6th Ave.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $15 [through 7/27].
St. Crispin's Day The battle of Agincourt from perspective of the soliders of Shakespeare's Henry V; St. John's Church in the Village, 224 Waverly Pl. (betw. 6th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-490-6274; call for times, $15-$37.50 [through 7/20].
Tea at Five Kate Mulgrew (Star Trek Voyager, Ryan's Hope) portrays Katharine Hepburn in new biographical play by Matthew Lombardo-this week feat. open captions for hearing impaired, info www.tdf.org/programs/tap; Promenade Theatre, B'way (76th St.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $25-$60 [through 7/13].
Titus! Yes, the exclamation point is not the Bard's in this "stylized, mod puppet version" of Shakespeare's gory revenge tragedy; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; call for times, $15 [through 7/13].