The Gist: Beware the TMD
Trailers were once useful vehicles that did good things. In the wake of the Bushies desperate search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, trailers have become sinister machines of the modern roadway.
As you may recall, Colin Powell talked about mobile bio labs while standing before the U.N. last February, offering up grainy photos that he claimed depicted evil goings-on occurring in tractor trailer-like vehicles across Iraq. It sounded not unlike a high-concept Hollywood farce: scientists concocting deadly biological agents while trucking down the highways and byways from Baghdad to Basra. Sort of The Nutty Professor meets Convoy–with a dash of Arabian Nights thrown in. This was no hunch or guess, Powell said. They had the goods.
"My colleagues, every statement I make today is backed up by sources, solid sources," he assured the U.N. in a speech that was pivotal in the administrations march toward the invasion of Iraq. "These are not assertions. What were giving you are facts and conclusions based on solid intelligence We have firsthand descriptions of biological weapons factories on wheels."
Powell then went on to describe "mobile production systems mounted on road trailer units"–18 of them, to be precise–that "can produce enough dry biological agent in a single month to kill thousands upon thousands of people."
Since the first Saddam statue toppled over in Baghdad last month, the search for the monstrous trailers has taken on mythic proportions, with sightings just about every day. This is the Bigfoot of our time, complete with murky pictures and composite sketches, and witnesses who emerge from the shadows with frightful stories that never quite gel. But the Bushies and the American media have their asses on the line with this one. Theyve got to produce those damned trailers of mass destruction no matter how incredulous it all sounds.
The CIAs website is starting to look like the Psychic Friends Hotline site. Last week, they were touting the two "probable" bio labs. And it does look pretty convincing–if youre seven years old. Click through and youll find color drawings of the trailers that Colin Powell imagined when he was at the U.N., and then right next to them youll see photographs of the actual trailers they claim to have found last week, which have an uncanny resemblance to the color drawings. Imagine.
The trailers they found last week are no different from those they seem to find every week–discoveries that get front-page attention when they occur, but hardly any attention when they later turn out to be run-of-the-mill trailers. CIA officials touted last weeks finding as major, but when pushed on the evidence, they caved.
"There were inconsistencies in the evidence and a lack of hard proof, like the presence of pathogens in trailer gear," the New York Times reported, making you wonder why this is even a story. "The officials acknowledged that they had discovered neither biological agents nor evidence that the equipment had ever been used to make germ weapons."
Then what makes them smoking guns? "The best evidence of that," CIA officials told the Times, "was the trailers close resemblance to prewar descriptions of mobile germ plants given by Iraqi sources."
In other words, they looked like Powells cartoons.
To help the government find these trailers of mass destruction, I conducted my own investigation. Herewith is my report to John Ashcroft, the Pentagon and the CIA:
The ease with which people can now acquire trailers on the open market is horrifying and is a major concern for national security. Clearly the government must enact trailer control laws, so as to stop the rampant flow of trailers throughout this country and the world. Case in point: Discount-Trailors.com. On this site, you can buy a wide range of trailers. Cargo trailers. Fishing-boat trailers. Golfcart trailers. ATV transport trailers. There is even evidence that Iran and Syria have made purchases from Discount-Trailors.com: The company claims to ship anywhere.
We must also investigate the InterClean Equipment Company, which also advertises on the web. It is my hunch that InterClean is into trailer laundering–literally. Its no coincidence that none of the trailers we are finding have any traces of biological agent and that InterClean cleans most trailers in the world, according to the company. According to their website: "The largest trucking companies in the world regularly use InterClean systems to successfully wash their fleets. All these systems are unattended, automated and require no detailing. Several of these InterClean systems exceed 7000 washes monthly, with practically no maintenance required. InterClean commercial truck washes can wash all vehicles that cannot be washed by conventional commercial car washes."
My surveillance of the Lake Orion Trailer Park in Lake Orion, Michigan, also revealed highly unusual activity, with people entering and leaving the trailers on a daily basis–sometimes hourly. It should be noted that this is only one of tens of thousands of trailer parks across America. These may very well be "sleeper cells."
From my car outside the Lake Orion Trailer Park I observed large, overweight individuals leaving their trailers and getting into their cars throughout the day. It was the uniformity of their behavior that was highly suspicious: Almost to a one, they went to Wal-Mart. It is well-known that Wal-Mart sells numerous items–from ammonia to ammunition–that can be used for explosives and biological agents. In his next report to the U.N., if Secretary Powell really wants to make a case, he should present some of the photos I have taken of these individuals carrying many bags–white, plastic bags–from their cars to the trailers after they have returned from Wal-Mart, often by cover of night.
As Powell told U.N. ambassadors in February, "These are not assertions. What were giving you are facts and conclusions based on solid intelligence." What more do you need to know?
Michelangelo Signorile hosts a national radio show each weekday from 1 - 4 p.m. EST on Sirius Satellite Radio, stream 149. He can be reached at [www.signorile.com](http://www.signorile.com)