The New Year's Guide: Twirl ($125), Metropolitan Pavilion ($99), Mint ($75), Vinyl ($50), Webster Hall ($30 After 2 a.m.), Baktun ($20 w/Invite After 12), Brooklyn Bridge (Free Always)

First, the swank: Twirl (208 W. 23rd St., betw. 7th & 8th Aves., 691-7685), whose Saturday fete pulled down New York Press honors for "Best New Party 2001," is charging $125 this New Year's Eve. That is actually on the reasonable side for a Manhattan club?Eugene (27 W. 24th St., betw 5th & 6th Aves., 462-0999) wants $150, and there are all sorts of wide-eyed promoters who think they can squeeze $200 or $250 "VIP" admission out of the newly tight-fisted New York public. Good luck.

For $125, Gaslight Entertainment, who rented out Twirl, sets you up with an open bar from 9 p.m.-2 a.m., passed hors d'oeuvres (including pizzas), stationary sushi platters and a bagel spread that makes its appearance at 3 a.m. In addition to the food, there will be five DJs (Jeff Kaos and Perry plus three ultra-special ones who can't be named), a relaxing lower chamber that might be partitioned off for VIPs but is otherwise great for hanging out in and two giant video screens. Twirl's 10-by-13 monsters remind me of that Beatles song "Getting Better," which I first heard in an ad for Phillips' flat-screen tv's. These screens will show the ball drop as the complimentary champagne gets passed around; then they'll show mesmerizing graphics until 6 a.m. The party starts at 9.

...Cheaper than Twirl and skewing younger, the Crystal Method/Timo Maas show at Metropolitan Pavilion (125 W. 18th St., betw. 6th & 7th Aves., 463-0071) is the New Year's event for run-of-the-mill raver kids. (Younger, more discriminating raver kids will be at Vinyl; see below.) The show costs $99 and plays 10 p.m.-4 a.m.; recent Centro-Fly DJ Terry Casey opens it up. The main acts are Timo Maas, purveyor of "wet funk" from Germany, and the Crystal Method, aka Ken Jordan and Scott Kirkland, two white men who came out of L.A. in 1993 when Stone Temple Pilots were big and eight years later have Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland guesting on their record Tweekend. Funny how it works like that.

The Crystal Method show won't have an open bar. It will have plenty of tasty individuals dancing to techno; it will be a real shame if it closes at 4 a.m. as advertised, before every other party on this list.

...The lounge Mint (225 E. Houston St. at Essex St., 358-3188) offers nearly everything Twirl does for $50 less because it's a brand-new establishment trying to win customers. That means an open bar 9 p.m.-1 a.m., a Perrier-Jouet champagne toast, a breakfast buffet and more unnamed celebrity DJs. Mint is part of the brave front of clubs trying to colonize E. Houston St.; it is located right near 2001's healthy baby Abaya (244 E. Houston St., betw. Aves. A & B, 777-7464) and, if it does not have Abaya's stunning decor, Mint is bilevel, with a mezzanine, and a little less snooty.

It remains to be seen whether Meow Mix (269 Houston St., betw. Aves. A & B, 254-0688) can keep itself a grunge lesbian bar amid all of these clubs opening up. I think so, but we'll see in '02. The Mint party costs $75 and lasts until 6 a.m.

...Far from an open bar, Vinyl (6 Hubert St., betw. Hudson & Greenwich Sts., 343-1379) has no alcohol to speak of, so you'll have to deal with that in your own special way. What it has, for $50, is an 18+ crowd that never stops dancing and Englishman Danny Howells, who's known for playing 10-hour sets of his "deepsexyfuturistictechfunkhouse" (read: "house"). Howells has lately been at Vinyl and Centro-Fly; Vinyl is so excited about his presence that they are giving each 21+ partygoer one free bottle of champagne sized like, and as inconsequential as, a Pizza Hut Express personal pan pizza. The 18-21 guests will receive two non-alcoholic drinks that they will probably need.

Vinyl is located right near the Holland Tunnel, amidst yuppie real estate ventures that must be reeling now. The party starts at 10 p.m.

...We're getting down into cheaper territory?can you feel it? Webster Hall (125 E. 11th St., betw. 3rd & 4th Aves., 353-1600), a New Year's Eve staple whose posters may have caught your eye around the city, has its regular bash planned. VIP admission is $250, open bar admission is $100 and general admission is $60, but here's the hook: if you show up after 2 a.m. it's just $30 to get in.

"At 2 a.m. we're doing our post-New Year's Eve party," says well-spoken spokesman Martin Codd. "That's going to have a live WKTU broadcast with DJ Moody and a performance by Harlequin." Webster Hall at this time is sure to be stuffed with drag queens, confused models and strange-looking but happy couples. I'll let Mr. Codd detail the rest of the attractions.

"We do the largest balloon drop, we think, in the free world. We drop about 40,000 balloons. It's a huge amount. In fact, it's so many balloons that it covers everybody for about 30 seconds. We give out party favors?the hats, the whistles, confetti, streamers, tiaras, blowers. We have our trapeze act performing. We have our Go-Go Rama, which is conducted by a person called Horpha, about 50 go-go girls and guys all in sequined outfits. We do a live simulcast of the countdown in Times Square and we also give out a complimentary lifetime membership card, which gets you free admission on any night at Webster Hall apart from a special event before midnight."

There's more: "We were the only venue in the city to get a liquor license to serve until 8 a.m. No other club did. They all forgot or they all for one reason or another didn't do it."

...Actually, Baktun (418 W. 14th St., betw. 9th Ave. & Washington St., 206-1590) is also advertising liquor until 8 a.m., but they say that their party is $20 with a flier after midnight, which smells to me (plus, you would need to track down a Baktun flier). Although its clientele isn't always optimal, Webster Hall's many floors (four, including the basement, although some will likely be partitioned off for VIPs) promise to keep you entertained until 8 a.m., which is beyond the scope of many places.

...Finally, my personal favorite New Year's spot is the Brooklyn Bridge. It's completely free; there's one cop in a little golf cart who doesn't much care about public drinking, and a small pocket of foreign tourists who are generous with their champagne. It gives you a good view of the time (the Watchtower building in Brooklyn Heights) and a stunning view of the harbor, which represents our collective future and our chance for rebirth. Back in New Year's 2000, I got the courage to walk out over the cars on one of those little Brooklyn Bridge platforms meant for maintenance workers; when I reached the edge I looked out over the water and pledged myself to a good millennium. The cop in the golf cart immediately got on his megaphone.

"Not on my bridge, buddy."

I walked back to the pedestrian walkway and sipped some champagne with a few Germans.