This week's horoscope.

Appreciate what you've got. Quit whining and griping about what's missing from your big picture, and show all those surprisingly generous people who've been devoting their time and energy to trying to make you happy, supported and well taken care of, that you've actually noticed their munificence. They're due a little thankfulness, not crankiness. If you don't spill a little gratitude, you may end up having the tables turned, and be on your knees instead of the pedestal you've enjoyed of late. In other words, if you bite the hand that feeds you this week, chances are you'll end up licking the boot that kicks you.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Don't talk shit. The temptation is powerful, given that you've just discovered how often you'll receive the benefit of the doubt, because of all the time you've put in being reliable and trustworthy. Considering the great prizes to be won through your bluffing and trash talk, I can see how it'd be hard to resist. Please, Cap, for your own karmic sake, defy those temptations and maintain instead your sterling rep. Hopefully, you simply won't be as enticed by that bad behavior when I tell you this: Once you're caught in a lie (something that almost inevitably will happen), most of the offers will be retracted, and repayment of every single dollar will be required. Is that in any way worth the loss of your dignity and integrity?

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Your sarcasm may get the better of you this week, if you're not careful. You're likely to encounter a surfeit of overly earnest folks who are easily offended by your occasionally biting wit, even if only the lightest, most playful nip was intended. So what? You don't need them. But you also don't need them to be offended, especially since your intention was to make them laugh. So choke back your edgiest humor for a week, and spare some tender egos a little bruising. Or don't, and shrug when the thin-skinned ninnies run screaming. It's all the same to me.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Phew. The aggressive and overcharged influence of Mars is finally about to leave your sign. That planet has made you hurtle in lunatic directions, willy-nilly, just to rid yourself of all that extra energy. And as you know all too well, that random scampering and scuffling has gotten you into trouble more often than not. So the astrological news is mixed: On the one hand, once you're completely rid of that hyper-aggro stimulus, you'll probably have less energy; on the other, you'll possess more time and peace, things you need plenty of, in order to climb out of the deep holes you dug and fell into over the past couple months.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Those tender Pisceans had trouble coping, at times, with the chaotic fire lit under their asses by your fierce ruling planet, Mars. But once it slips into the realm of your sign (next week) you won't have any problem taming and integrating the corresponding surplus of energy into your life. You're on a good path right now, so I have faith that even if you speed up, you won't careen wildly off-course, but will just make good time in the right direction. Just to be safe, take this last week, before your gas tank gets filled to the brim with high-octane fuel, to make sure your maps are in order and you're sure of the route to where you're headed. Then relax and wait for the astrological moment when you'll gleefully, without any trepidation, declare, "Full speed ahead!"

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

I spent the week taking care of nagging little things I hadn't done. These were all easy tasks that had a disproportionate effect on my daily quality of life. In other words, I should have assigned them a much higher priority, given how simple they were and how much better they made things. I was so relieved and surprised about the amazing effort-to-effect ratio that I thought I'd share it with the sign most in need of that tiny kick in the ass. According to my astrological calculations, that's you, Taurus. Get out the list, and replace the light bulbs, oil the hinges, and sew the missing buttons you've been neglecting. You'll be glad you did.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

A Gemini friend asked me how people would react if I made predictions like, "Don't go out today or a piano will fall on your head." I told him most of them would scoff and do just as they pleased, and the few who couldn't see through the inanity of that kind of prophecy were probably better off staying in anyway. None of those idiots would fall under your sign, thankfully. Geminis are by their very nature too crafty to be beguiled by blanket statements and self-important decrees. Wield your healthy skepticism wisely and often this week, Gem, because it won't steer you wrong.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Margaret Lee Runbeck wrote: "Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling." Consider her well-chosen words often this week and during the next few months, until they've completely eclipsed and replaced your current bitter-making mantra: "I'll be happy when?" Shit goes down, manna falls from heaven, but unless you can navigate it all with more or less the same disposition, you're screwed and strapped into an entirely unpleasant roller coaster I suspect you wanted off of 10 years ago. Cut free of the bullshit that's holding you in and get off the damn coaster. Life's exciting enough without it.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Staying on top of the latest trend doesn't interest you, generally. True, virtually every Leo has a phase (sometimes as short as a week or two, sometimes as long as a decade) where that's important to them, but generally being au courant isn't that high on your priority list. However, being stylish is a desire that never fades from the proud lion's list of wishes. Thus you naturally tend to gravitate towards looks and attitudes that are best categorized as classic, timeless, and eternal. While none of them is really those things, it doesn't matter. For all intents and purposes, old-school cool suits and serves you better than nouveau anything ever could, especially this week.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You could use a good deep-tissue massage. If you can spare the dough, treat yourself to just that, and if you're too poor to splurge, at least call in one of the many favors you're perpetually owed and get one of your best-qualified friends to give you the knead you need. I'm concerned because you've let a few old attitudes and ideas stagnate and crystallize inside you, manifesting as stiff and inflexible muscles (both mental and physical), slowing all forward progress significantly. As you know, these things are intricately interwoven. Thus, loosen the muscles, and you're much more likely to shake free of those limiting concepts as well.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

What do you want to do today? What about tomorrow, next week, and next year? If you've got it all planned out, you're fucked. It's good to have goals and general directions in which to head. But if you tailor your future and try to control or conceive of every detail, you're really just screwing yourself over. Why? Because the best things that are going to happen to you in the next year are those things you didn't plan for?provided you allow them enough room to enter your life. These are things you encountered along the way to where you thought you wanted to go, but could never have expected. Keep moving. But keep an eye on the scenery along the way.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

You didn't even know they were doing construction on your soul's main avenue. But when they finally open up all the lanes this week, you'll notice what you didn't before?that movement through there has been awfully sluggish and congested. Happily, you've got all lanes in both directions fully functional, at least this week, and although they may have to shut down parts of your spiritual highway for maintenance in the weeks and months to come, it's not soon likely to be the jammed two-lane highway it has been for months just past.

[Caeriel@yahoo.com](mailto:Caeriel@yahoo.com)