This Week's Horoscope

In may, Japan sent out three ships to hunt whales. By passing it off as technically legal "research," they persist in this practice, despite vast international opposition. Ostensibly, their excuse this time was to see if minke, Bryde's and sperm whales were "suffering from pollution." I guess the plan was to kill them to put them out of their toxic misery and sell the meat to Japanese restaurants, just "so it doesn't go to waste." Don't front. The problem with your latest flimsy excuses is that everyone can see right through them. It's hurting your rep. If you insist on killing (even metaphorically) the most noble things you can see, own it, at least.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Get out of the house! Now. Pretend there's a letter-bomb, an embarrassing incense fire or a plague of viral cockroaches inside. Leaving your home shouldn't be a process. You can't prepare for every eventuality, so don't try. This time, rush out empty-handed. Forget your sunblock or smokes. They won't matter?you're out to expand your territory (why you spent all winter toughening your shell), not rehash familiar stories. Traveling light will aid your mission?you'll be able to go farther abroad, and when you inevitably butt heads trodding on someone else's home turf, you'll have an easier time dancing around your "opponent" if you don't have a suitcase-sized purse or pockets full of junk weighing you down.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

The Olympic committee is meeting regarding genetically enhanced athletes. Your nearly superhuman ability to achieve great things with minimal effort might also warrant investigation. Don't be daunted by outside skepticism, judgment or unfair restrictions, all of which you may encounter this week. Not using your superior endowments would be akin to those superjocks of the future refusing to use their catlike reflexes or gorilla-size strengths just because the Olympic committee said no. Pick and choose the arenas you'll compete in. You're lucky; so far, no one can stop you, no matter how much they'd like to.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Some couples get married while skydiving, climbing down the side of a skyscraper or by Elvis in a Vegas wedding chapel. Some women give birth in taxicabs, warm baths or at home surrounded by dozens of friends, singing. I admire their willingness to experience or create these life-changing moments in ways that are perfectly tailored to their own lives, instead of subscribing to the cookie-cutter traditions almost everyone else uses. It takes a lot of courage and self-knowledge to write your own version and make it happen. This week, start with making the day-to-day uniquely yours?by the time the next big milestone comes along, you should be able to own that, too.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Archaeologists are still learning about an ancient culture that existed 4000 years ago, in an area that's now Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan. They know so little about the pragmatically named BMACs (Bactrian-Margiana Archaeological Complex)?just enough to understand how little they know. For example, they've found enough symbols to suggest that these people had a form of writing totally different from other systems in use at the time, but not enough to come close to understanding it. Similar to your own situation: the more you know, the more you realize you don't know. The difference between you and those real-life diggers: they may never uncover enough clues undamaged by time to get a clear picture of this nearly forgotten culture, but you're bound to get a very precise image, if only you dig long enough.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

With the cooperation of the administration, Amherst College student Andrew Epstein conducted a cultural experiment as his final project for a social sculpture art class: he posted signs decreeing that the sale and distribution of coffee was no longer permitted on campus, and made it so, at least for a day. People freak out when deprived of their addictive routines, even ones as banal as one's daily cup of joe. Taking a day, week or year off from your compulsions can reveal how much they're either helping or hindering you. Armed with that knowledge, you're free to either pick them back up with guilt-free glee, or get whatever help you need in keeping the monkeys off your back forever.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

For years, you worked toward "living the dream." Now that you're so much closer to it (or already in it, whether you've realized that or not) you're surprised that the dream is so much quieter than you thought it'd be. The spotlight you're missing ain't all that. Sshh. Your habit is to crave excitement. It's been replaced by the feeling of peace and rightness you'd have right now, if only you'd stop craning your neck to spot the fireworks long enough to look inside and notice it.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Ever since Saturn Daddy slipped into Gemini, you've been disturbingly changeable. Your friends are shaking their heads, privately, at the thought that their eminently reliable and most predictable friend could differ even slightly from expectations. Yes, even Mr. Steadfast can change his tie once in a while. This week, show off how well change suits you?and your ever-present plans?by pulling off the thing that even you doubted yourself capable of at this time last year. You ought to know exactly what I'm talking about?if you don't, make something up. The surprise would be good for all of us.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Doctors say they're immune to the lavish gifts, trips and perk-riddled propaganda showered upon them by pharmaceutical companies, but, statistically, they're much more likely to prescribe the marketed product after enjoying basketball tickets or a fancy dinner courtesy of its manufacturer. At www.nofreelunch.org, a coalition of healthcare professionals encourages other doctors to take a pledge to be "drug company free." The least you should expect from someone you pay to take care of your health is that she prescribe meds based on your own best interests, not on the rosy memories of her last pharmaceutical-funded ski vacation. While you're demanding that your doctor pledge to be free from corporate "bribery," check yourself for a bad case of hypocrisy. While not as grievous, you've let yourself be swayed ever so slightly by a karmically dirty influence. Doc should clean up her practice. But give yours a good scrub, too.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Your unfailing generosity has made you eligible for sainthood again. Unfortunately, nomination for canonization has its price. The modeling sessions for stained-glass masterworks, marble statues and religious candle stickers can be grueling. The exhausting and endless requests for miracles, healings and holy signs get old, too. Certainly don't cease the practices that earned you such honor in the first place. But you hardly need all the lame trappings that go with it. Do something wicked this week, and you'll still have the gratitude of those you love, without all the awe and supplication from those you don't even know.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Where do you get your inspiration? Is it simply the awed hush of the crowd as you leap through rings of fire or cavort on stilts? Is it archetypal force beamed through you directly from the sun? Or do you spend your quiet moments plotting and practicing so that you'll never fail to amaze? Your fount of delightfulness may seem unending to us innocent bystanders, but don't fool yourself. This is a good week to identify precisely what feeds your source and make sure you're getting plenty of it.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Being the eminently practical person you are, most of the skills you use and value the most are not ones you learned in school. Your favorite lessons include when your uncle showed you how to break into a car, when your big brother gave you advice about women or when your best friend taught you how to get rid of bill collectors, Jehovah's Witnesses and telephone salespeople once and for all. Given this basic awareness, I wonder why you've been clinging to book learning in one particularly troublesome area for so long. The problem is primed to move?if only you'd apply Grandma's stewed prune recipe to the blockage, instead of what some lame-ass taught you in college.

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