This Week's Horoscopes

eXistenZ, a movie by David Cronenberg, explores a multilayered virtual reality game that's so deep, compelling and credible that players are never quite certain whether they've exited the game. You can identify. You know that reality isn't as solid and matter-of-fact as some would have you believe?instead, it's influenced by expectations, reactions and perceptions. That's why a dozen people, each recounting his or her absolute truth regarding an event they all experienced, can tell twelve different, sometimes contradictory, stories. Just a reminder of something you already knew: your truth isn't The Truth. Tell your tale, then listen with interest and belief to everyone else's.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

At least four million people took to the streets on February 15th to protest President Bush's hubristic and greedy war on Iraq. In dozens of cities worldwide, many of them in countries traditionally allied with the United States, concerned global citizens voiced their opposition to the apparently oil-motivated death and destruction. Yet I cynically believe that he'll proceed anyway, despite the fact that this war is less popular than Vietnam. He's got his eyes on plunder that blinds him to what he stands to lose if he persists anyway. Don't be like W. Your potential prize pales in comparison to what you'd inevitably squander in its pursuit. Let it go, and get more for your inaction than your exploits would ever have garnered.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Hey, Snow White. I refer to the facet of you that's slept in a glass case, perfectly preserved, for some time now. Every so often you've looked upon it with pride, or shown it off to your friends. On the one hand, it's an impressive feat that you've managed to hold onto it this long?something akin to keeping your virginity until marriage. But on the other hand, what's so great about conserving your sexual inexperience until you meet a potential lifemate? Liberate yourself. Be your own Prince Charming. It's time to free the dwarves tending your glass case, open it and wake that comatose inner princess with a kiss.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Letting go is hard to do. Sometimes, you're forced to, like when the dog chews the faces off your dolls or when your sister totals your first car. Unfortunately, you might wish for those kinds of shitty happenstances this week, because consciously choosing to release something you love that's no longer useful or good for you is in some ways much harder than having it taken away or destroyed. However, since you will inevitably lose the beloved crutch in question, wouldn't it be better to liberate it now, on your own terms, rather than waiting for the universe to wrench it from your life? Believe me, your way is better.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Trading Spaces, the show in which friends redecorate each other's houses, is my recent television fixation. I'm often amazed at how characterless and bland some of these people's houses are?which makes me think of you: I'm sure that none of those insipid folk are Cancers. More than any other sign, your space reflects your soul. Most Cancerian houses are warm, cozy, cluttered and filled with sentiment, like your heads. They may not be trendy or stylish, but they're always interesting and real. I don't mention this so you can abstractly appreciate the sympathetic relationship between bedroom and brainspace; I want you to take advantage of it. It works both ways; with the New Moon in Pisces this week, it's an ideal time to refurbish an outmoded room in your house, and revise an obsolete attitude, while you're at it.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

It's fitting that your ruling planet is the sun, because unlike your fiery cousins, those Aries?who flare up in blinding flashes of unparalleled glory?you're able to sustain an impressive nuclear blaze for your entire lifetime, one that shines consistently more brightly than some people's most dazzling moments. The fuel that nourishes this inspired radiance: hope. Optimism, among your tribe, is the ultimate self-replenishing fuel. So never, ever give up?no matter how dark or desperate things get?because your star may grow dim, but it'll never go out unless you let it.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Although you admire and strive for simplicity, your life is rarely, if ever, described as simple. Instead, it's rife with myriad complications. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. For example, it's never boring. Don't be too hard on yourself as you try to eliminate obfuscations and can't nix a single one. You're just not a Zen-type person, who can eradicate all distractions. Your inner peace is more of the dervish variety, in which you find a point of stillness in the center of a chaotic tornado of activity. Embrace your whirlwind?you're more likely to find the serene eye of the storm if you're not always trying to dance out of its way.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

"It only hurts when I laugh." This week, you make me think of that cracked-rib complaint as a source of pain or misery inextricably tangles itself with a primary fount of spiritual nourishment, like laughter. "So, don't laugh," is not an appropriate response. Don't even momentarily contemplate cutting yourself off from any of the wellsprings of your well-being, even to avoid a little anguish. Life is about experiencing things. You can't always choose what it is you feel, but don't go numb. Sometimes?as you'll soon learn?joy and sorrow come together, or not at all.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

An ancient germ called GB virus C, which has harmlessly tagged along throughout human evolution, appears to help those infected with it by making them far less likely to die from HIV. The innocuous virus blocks pathways for HIV to replicate, and, thereby, invade and destroy new blood cells. Although doctors are years from deliberately infecting people with GBV-C (assuming they ever do), I suggest you employ a similar strategy this week, to limit annoyances from pests you can't inoculate yourself against. For example, to thwart unwanted wooing from unsavory suitors, have your best friend pretend to be your lover. You may not be able to solve your problem this way?but at least you can keep it from getting worse.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Some bewildered parents try to curb their kids with hyperactivity-checking drugs or other artificial restrictions. Unfortunately, this lack of courage and imagination can lead to stunted human beings; misbehaving and making mistakes is how we grow. And it's better to suffer some painful lessons early?like chicken pox, they're only more horrible and dangerous to get later. Don't try to save yourself or anyone else from learning an upsetting truth this week. Better sooner than later: The larger any illusion is allowed to grow, the sharper and more agonizing its shards will be when it's finally shattered.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Ignore the petty little man behind the curtain, or anyone trying to manipulate you into believing you're incomplete. One of the most appealing things about the questors in The Wizard of Oz is that they already possessed the things they sought?they simply needed the quest to reveal their hitherto hidden qualities. You're like the scarecrow, lion and tin man?you already have what you're looking for, in spades, be it brains, brawn or heart. And if you're just looking for a way back home, look around?it's time you finally realized: you're already there.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The Point of No Return looms. It's that moment when you've invested so much time, care and energy in something that you can't possibly quit without achieving your goal. Persistence and determination are good qualities, but excessive stick-to-it-iveness can be seriously damaging if your goal is unattainable?before you know it, all your resources are drained, and you're still empty-handed. Beware that inertia-laden end zone. Before you commit to your ambition, make sure it's achievable. There are times to attempt the impossible; this isn't one of them. Many important and amazing opportunities lie ahead; I'd hate for you to miss out because you were too busy pursuing a chimerical and ultimately fruitless daydream.

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