Why's MUGGER on the Bush Train?; Hudson Valley Hobbits; Doughty vs. the Backstreet Boys

That said, how can MUGGER?as a smart, tough, principled conservative?carry water for that poster boy of unearned privilege, George W. Bush? The MUGGER I thought I knew would see this total nothing from Texas as an inarticulate, phony, pandering echo of his father?who incidentally was a lousy president. The MUGGER I thought I knew would flay this dissembling phony alive and throw up his hands and hope that an Al Gore administration would prompt the GOP to produce a real candidate next election cycle. The MUGGER I thought I knew would call a spade a spade and see Bush's hysterical lurch to the Ian Paisley right as a disgusting surrender to the worst aspects of the party. The MUGGER I thought I knew would tell it like it is.

Perhaps you've been driven to desperation by your intense hatred of Clinton and his minions. Perhaps you fear that a Gore administration will simply be more of the same, only without the roguish charisma. But that's no reason to surrender your principles.

Chris Knowles, Morristown, NJ

Ghosts in Them Thar Hills That Andrey Slivka ("Hudson Valley Ruined," 2/23) might begin a piece on the Hudson Valley from the bicycle path that runs under the Verrazano Bridge in Brooklyn might seem unwieldy to some. For myself, having spent much adolescent and postadolescent time along this path, it doesn't surprise me at all. I know the power of this place. The notion of hobbits sweeping down on the north wind and beaming one away does not sound implausible, not in the least.

What might have surprised me is that Slivka could have found the heart of this place in a relatively brief time. However, he has shown before and again an eerie capacity for doing exactly this sort of geographical skull unearthing. I hope that Slivka continues to chronicle the Hudson Valley area. His writing discovers the mysterious soul of the place in the decay of old mansions, and in the survival of Main Streets. Through the details of this breaking-and-entering adventure I know that I have found "something serious and beautiful about the Hudson Valley."

Slivka makes me believe in ghosts and not care so much about senatorial politics. In appreciation I would like to suggest this to Slivka: Winter's Tale, by Mark Helprin. It comes highly recommended by the hobbits of the Hudson.

Rob Jones, Manhattan

Exceeding Our Quota John Strausbaugh's review of selected reviews of Dave Eggers' new book A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius ("Publishing," 2/9) was fucking great! It was so fucking great I went to the fucking bookstore to check it out. That motherfucker can write. But that fuck of a book cost too fucking much, so I just read fucking snatches right in the fucking store.

This fucking book reminded me a lot of that fucking movie The Blair Witch Project, it was so fucking original. That was some motherfucking movie. Those fuckers in the fucking woods with their fucking camcorder was motherfucking scary. The best fucking part was when one of those fuckers got his motherfucking tongue cut out. That fucking movie was fucking too fucking much, and I laid out nine fucking bucks to see the motherfucker. I watched that fucking camcorder motherfucking footage for nearly two fucking hours, and even though the fucking actors were ugly motherfuckers, it was so fucking scary it was fucking worth it.

Not every motherfucker likes this sort of fucking entertainment, but what the fuck do they fucking know. Spend your fucking money and see for your fucking self, you motherfuckers.

Stanley Sankiroff, Manhattan

Essential Gear John Strausbaugh: As usual, fine column (2/23). Specifically, boo-yahs and shout-outs for mentioning this month's Gear. Never bought the mag until I saw that glorious 18-year-old on the cover, but it was, by and large, a damn good issue. The Celia Farber piece was superb. I can't count how many New Yorker articles I've just given up on in the past because they seemed to drone on forever. Farber, though, left me wanting more?amazing considering how played-out most AIDS articles seem to be.

Keep up the bashing and praising. I don't have the time or money to read everything, and your opinions always function as a great filter.

Josh Tate, Los Angeles

Doublemint Fresh Finally! Some stateside coverage of the Htoo twins (M. Wartella, 2/23)! I mean really, if that shit were going on in Kansas or some other Midwestern shithole, it'd be Columbine all over again! Bravo again, New York Press!

Name Withheld, Manhattan

Up the Classics Jay Nordlinger's classical music reviews are good and they are most welcome; I'd like to persuade you not only to continue but to triple his presence (they seem to be showing only every third week or so). The atrocious Village Voice gave up on Kerner (Nordlinger is much better) a year ago; surely you're doing God's work by taking on Nordlinger. The argument, of course, is that no one reads this stuff. But I read this stuff.

I'm real, by the way,?my Underlay was the subject of John Strausbaugh's long front-page essay last year?and I have never met Nordlinger; wouldn't know him on the street. I write this unselfishly.

Russ Smith: Wonderful newspaper, although you're a far better writer, human being and publisher than political prognosticator. (I'm grateful for that.)

Barry N. Malzberg, Teaneck, NJ

Doughty as Iago M. Doughty: About your 2/23 piece "Weird Like Youth":

Tried as I could to understand your article, I just couldn't. What exactly were you trying to point out? You try to amuse us with awkward stories of adolescence and trying to relate to it, but I don't think you quite get your point across.

I object to the disrespect showed to the Backstreet Boys. What do they have to do with your article or TRL? It's simply a video show, and the Backstreet Boys only happen to be one of the best singing groups around. I happen to be a huge fan of the Backstreet Boys, and I truly believe that they have gone far beyond the pop mainstream mentality that allows acts like 'N Sync, 98 Degrees and Christina Aguilera to exist.

Feel sorry for 'N Sync, do you? Why? Forgive me if I sound just a little bit biased, but they suck! Hardworking, hard-touring boys, are they? No. They're just overhyped, overproduced and overdone. If I recall, "Tearin' Up My Heart" was their only hit, and that was about a year and a half ago. All of a sudden, TRL premieres their new video and they're it? I don't think so. The Backstreet Boys tour much of the year, do publicity shoots, tv shows, TRL, interviews, special concerts, charity events and individual projects. They have proven themselves to be truly talented, wonderful and gracious artists who appeal not only to the "teenybopper" set, but to the adult contemporary market and beyond. Can 'N Sync do that? In my opinion, no.

Please stop inciting this ridiculous "boy band" war that has been going on for the last year or two, and that has recently escalated, thanks to people like you. Just remember, true talent always perseveres.

Ida Nieves, Bronx

Taki's Bowling Jacket Pending third party confirmation, I am conditionally acknowledging a possible error when I rushed to report Taki operating a cellphone while wearing a not-so-top-drawer fanny pack ("The Mail," 2/9). When Taki went to print with his denial, his categorical declaration of innocence was so emphatic and so thorough I was quickly deluged with attacks and demands for retraction from both sides of the Atlantic.

Not so fast, though. Many have noticed the eerie similarities between this case of charge-denial-countercharge and the Alger Hiss vs. Whittaker Chambers battle that took place more than 50 years ago. Just as the chattering class supported Hiss, they are now supporting Taki. However, Mr. Chambers has been vindicated over time and perhaps I will be, too. I need my own Elizabeth Bentley to help stir the pot. Who will play Nixon?

Dick Morris said I was trying to pull a contemporary version of the old LBJ trick: accuse your opponent of child abuse and bestiality just to get him to deny it; once the baseless charges are denied, at least some will believe them. For example, despite his denials, I personally believe Bill Clinton has snorted more coke in one week than Jacques Chirac has in a lifetime of trips to the bathroom. Yet, I must say, I am not trying anything of the sort. I love Taki's writing and many of his opinions. In fact, I think Madame Albright's thighs smell like rotten calzones and that Hillary is a Trotskyite witch. As someone who has more or less been a spokesman for my generation, I have had more than my share of slander, libel and innuendo thrown my way. Tom Phillips would never purposely do the same to le maître.

The sad truth was that I was doing some drinking that evening. Everyone in New York City knows that I have been sober since then, so it is somewhat embarrassing to admit. However, there were witnesses to the fanny pack and the pulling of the cellphone from it. New York Press factcheckers may be able to clear things up. In direct-eye view of my spotting Taki allegedly wrestling with his fanny pack was George Steinbrenner. Among other witnesses were Neal Travis, one of the Mailer boys, ex-commish Bill Bratton, Keith Hernandez and the ubiquitous Josh Harris. Richard Helms was in the back room. It was either Josh?or, later that evening, Richard Johnson?who confirmed to me that the man with the fanny pack was Taki. I felt like a boy discovering that his favorite ballplayer is a heroin addict.

Everything came full circle because Josh was on the rebound from being ignored by pop singer Fiona Apple and was pursuing Shoshanna Lonstein. This was the same Josh who pinched Nan Kempner's behind and compared it to the veal at Swifty's, and later wowed her by noting that Swifty's veal was so tender you can hear the calf cry. So, Taki, when I read that Miss Lonstein was staying at your place in Gstaad and had prompted your initial public rebuke of cellphones, I felt duty-bound to expose potential hypocrisy. It wasn't the cellphone that jarred me. Rather, it was the ghastly middlebrow fanny pack that was just outrageous.

Pending witness testimony to buttress my earlier claims of catching you in a fib, I will issue a global e-mail retracting my claims. I assume the man I saw was not you, and that Mr. Travis, Mr. Steinbrenner, Mr. Harris, et al., were just pulling my leg.

Alas, I have spent enough time on Mykonos to know not to get cross with a noble Greek. In that spirit, I don't mean to personally compare you to Mr. Hiss. As a witness to truth, a reader of the Black Book and student of Robert Conquest, you are anything but. Rather, everyone in New York has just noticed the surface commonality. So far, no pumpkin papers, though. Perhaps Sam Tanenhaus will be the most qualified to arbitrate. His book on Mr. Chambers was outstanding, and only those who have read it have taken to calling me a modern-day Chambers. A mixed blessing, for a prophet is not without honor except in his own country.

Well, if worse comes to worse, I do have a European passport and dual citizenship in Ireland. But let us bury the hatchet, before one of your defenders tries to bury it in my face. Perhaps a couple of rounds at Shinnecock in May. Godspeed!

P.S. MUGGER: Glad to see you rip another asshole in that fraud Frank Rich. What a coward. He waits for Sinatra's corpse to get cold to muster up a posthumous condemnation. What a pussy! Why can't he just admit he's the father of Wendy Wasserstein's baby? After all, that's what they're saying up at Elaine's.

Thomas Phillips, Manhattan

Textual Issue Armond White: In your 2/23 review of Boiler Room, you shortened and misquoted the Biggie line that opens the film. Actually, it goes: "either you're slingin' crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot." Which is maybe why "white boys" (like my 18-year-old brother, who drew my attention to that same line in "Things Done Changed" some two or three years ago) can relate to hiphop: we like to pay attention to the lyrics.

Otherwise, I agree that Boiler Room is a piece of shit and that the way new-school hiphop classics are overused comes off, somehow, as really creepy.

Shane Schleger, Manhattan

Running Scared Bravo to William Bryk for his fascinating account of winning the New Hampshire vice-presidential primary ("McCain and Me", 2/16). As usual, Bryk's essay was well-written, informative, impeccably researched and somewhat offbeat. Let's hope that Bryk doesn't decide to pull a Jonathan Ames and pack up his quill and inkwell and go home.

And as long as he was on the subject, Bryk might have included in his essay this tidbit of vice-presidential trivia: the longest-serving vice president in American history was none other than George Bush (the elder). Bush was vice president for 12 consecutive years: eight years (1981-1989) as Reagan's VP, and then another four years (1989-1993) as vice president when there was actually no one serving as U.S. president.

But unfortunately, for every William Bryk, there is also a J.R. Taylor. Taylor, New York Press's resident "Mr. Sensitive," asks the question in his 2/16 "Charmer" column: "Now, who in the 90s still thinks of this as a white man's world?"

Taylor must be kidding. I can't speak for the whole world, but certainly any nonwhite person in America knows that this is without a doubt a white man's country. I don't know which America Taylor is living in, but the America I know is a racist, homophobic, misogynist, Christian-dominated society. So if you're not a WCHM (white Christian heterosexual male), you're a second- or third-class citizen. Not surprisingly, Taylor, like many WCHMs, is simply oblivious to the diminished status of others in this country. (Technically, Taylor is a WCMHM, a white Christian mostly heterosexual male, since he has in the past described himself as "not the most heterosexual guy you'd ever meet.")

But compared to Andrey Slivka, J.R. Taylor seems positively enlightened. In his 2/23 "New York City" piece, Slivka describes an "elderly black guy" whom he sees at a Hillary Clinton campaign appearance. Slivka imagines this guy to be a "retired Transit man." I guess in Slivka's world, an elderly black man couldn't be a retired doctor, lawyer or Wall Street business man. Slivka then imagines this man to live in Ft. Greene or Brownsville, since Slivka couldn't possibly believe that he might live in Gramercy Park or on the Upper East Side. Then Slivka hypothesizes about this man watching his grandson being sent to prison for drug possession. Apparently, Slivka reasons that an elderly black man must have a drug-dealer grandson.

It's really a shame that Slivka uses his column to perpetuate racial stereotypes, rather than helping to erase them. After reading Slivka's column, can J.R. Taylor really doubt that this is a white man's world?

S. Dempsey, Manhattan

You First Re: Your 2/9 opinion piece, "That Old-Time Religion":

The writer mentioned Bill Clinton, and commented that, by Christian standards, he performed some fairly wild acts while in office. I wish to remind the writers that, by Christian standards, no human being is perfect. As a consequence, we as Christians are taught to demonstrate the act of forgiveness.

Simon Charles, Springfield Gardens, NY

Toast of Futures Past Douglas Davis ("An Anti-Futurist Manifesto," 2/16) is plainly too young to have read earlier Arthur C. Clarke work, in which he detailed future "geosynchronous" satellites for communications and wrote the complete scenario for man's landing on the moon. This was way before anyone had a clue that it might be done. Give the man credit for major futurist successes.

But, on balance, my anarchist sensibilities say that Davis is not far off the mark.

Roslyn Willet, Manhattan

Fiddle Harder C.J. Sullivan's 2/9 "New York City" piece about homeless violinist John Ellington Blair initially did much to arouse my sympathies toward the homeless in New York. Nevertheless, by the time I finished the piece I was left quite cynical about people who end up homeless. Blair has not made a realistic foray into the world of work.

You must be thinking this is another letter from an irate, inconvenienced, insensitive, heartless New Yorker. Well, I believe men can survive if they commit themselves to struggling, to paying their dues. As long as they are healthy, they can carve out niches in the job market. The crux of the problem for many homeless is disease, both mental and physical. These end up self-sabotaging even the most savvy and wily homeless people.

David Morales, Queens

Dance Faster Rudolph Giuliani says that the homeless should work, pay for their shelter and get off the street. Otherwise they'll be locked up. Now, I'm sure that John Ellington Blair, in C.J. Sullivan's 2/9 "New York City" article, heard all of this rhetoric. Being enterprising, he decided to comply on a larger than homeless life scale. He's creatively complying with the law, yet has somehow managed to get Sullivan's dander up because, somewhere in his mind, Blair is unfathomable. Yes?imagine some homeless, heavy-set black man with the gall to have not only an e-mail address but also a website. Sullivan should have been a good citizen and brought this to the attention of Giuliani. He would have made of Master John Blair a poster "boy" for the homeless.

This is New York. Everyone with a hope, dream or aspiration can come here with a dream of "making it." Why not Master John from the Bronx? Sullivan stated that he was a "recent" homeless person. This tells me that before he got to Central Park to entertain Sullivan and his daughters he had a life. A life that has apparently hit a bump in the road.

I feel that if John Blair, a homeless man, is enterprising enough to get Sullivan to write an article about him and to entertain and amuse him and so many others, then that's something to be commended. Think what Master John will or can accomplish when he no longer has to wake up on the steps of a synagogue, temple, mosque or church.

May I suggest that Sullivan?after he gets over being so awed by this man's gall?sit with his girls and asks them to describe Blair aloud. Sullivan should hear from the mouths of his babes how they saw him. Then Sullivan will see how much of his subtle bigotry has made its way into his girls' little minds. Once he's made his discovery, he might still have time to do some damage control?assuming, that is, that Sullivan can detect if any damage has been done.

To Master John Ellington Blair I say, "Play on."

Annette Smith, Brooklyn

We Seek Interns Alan Cabal: How many employers do you think would jump at the chance to provide long-term employment to a person whose sole skill is at being telephone psychic? In your 2/9 "New York City" article "No Balls at HRA," you bash the Human Resources Administration for removing the Psychic Network from its list of employers for welfare recipients. You state, "Any job is better than welfare."

Is it not preferable that welfare recipients receive viable work skills that are geared toward acquiring long-term employment? I work for a city agency that employs welfare recipients. They learn to perform the basic job functions that some of our hourly employees perform. This way, they are able to develop their skills and enhance their employability.

I believe it's not a matter of "any job is better than welfare," but of "develop work ethics and skills to form a diversified employee." I commend HRA for rethinking its list of employers.

Deidre Taylor, Brooklyn

Nose for Error

Concerning MUGGER's 2/23 column, in which he predicted that the Cokehead would defeat John McCain in Michigan, three words come to mind yet again: Ha, ha, ha.

And more to the point: How is it possible for any human being to be so totally lacking in self-awareness? MUGGER's record for inaccurate political predictions is still 100 percent after more than a decade. Doesn't he know how ridiculous he looks? Or does power corrupt editor/CEOs as much as it corrupts politicians?

Steve Simels, Manhattan

Will He Take Manhattan? MUGGER: You did it again. From your 2/23 column: "Bush has now won in Iowa, Delaware and South Carolina; he's likely to take Michigan as well..." I'm looking forward to your next H.V. Kaltenborn impersonation. You are rapidly becoming the Joe Btsflk of political seers.

Hearing Rush Limbaugh and reading you rag on poor McCain and other GOP apostates is the most fun we yellow dog Democrats have had since God knows when.

By the way, nobody who enjoys and appreciates beer ever had anything good to say about Coors. "Colorado Kool Aid" was about the nicest thing it was ever called.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

Mort Weintraub, Larchmont, NY

Tom, Abe or Cancer? Bravo to MUGGER. It's about time someone began to deflate the arrogance of the pompous, bluenose, cowardly, narrow-minded, biased, ass-kissing, schoolmarmish writers at The New York Times.

I canceled my subscription some while back, and have felt a sense of liberation ever since. Is it true that the old windbag A.M. Rosenthal is no longer contributing to the pollution?

Sven Kunstman, Manhattan

Not Bloody Likely MUGGER: You've fallen for liberal claptrap. I used to be on the City of Ithaca Republican Committee and, if memory doesn't fail me, those rules for statewide primaries are used by both the Democrats and the Republicans. When you repeat the line that they're used by Republicans (2/2), you are playing into Howell Raines' hands.

Also, you're right?The New York Times is a terrible paper. Indeed, the abbreviated articles in its Web edition are often incomprehensible. I came recently to the conclusion that it was too shrill to be useful when I found that I was routinely reading The Washington Post to get accurate coverage about national events!

Eric Fisher, Worthington, OH

Friedman Dolt Com MUGGER: I love it when people kick the gas out of The New York Times. They're so full of themselves. Want a laugh? Recently Thomas Friedman laid the source of Haider's support to (I paraphrase) a coalition of workers, shopkeepers and peasants. I kid you not. Workers, shopkeepers and peasants. In Austria in the 21st century! Does this guy think? The man's imagination draws from long-dead cliches from the 1890s: toiling peasants grinding out their impoverished lives in the shadows of the majestic Alps, bigoted Catholic shopkeepers who will make a pact with the devil to uphold their bourgeois world and the abused, ignorant and bitter workers going with their worst instincts by choosing a strongman savior. I guess the salvation of Austria will lie with a righteous coalition of students, intellectuals and liberal clergy when they eventually get off their fat, pampered, alpine backsides.

Oh, please exile me to Austria, I could do much, much, much worse.

Friedman is pathetic. Week by week he's morphing into Anthony Lewis.

Daniel Heneghan, Stewart Manor, NY

Half a Tab MUGGER: Does your son watch Arthur on PBS? If so, that's where he got the idea for the half-birthday party (2/23). You could celebrate it like they did the show: have half a cake and give half presents. For example, one of the characters gave the kid celebrating her half-birthday half a baseball. How do I know this? My son is an Arthur addict and watches it every day. Luckily he's only three and a half and hasn't figured out the half-birthday ploy yet.

I enjoy your column and read it regularly. Keep up the good work and wish your son a happy half-birthday for me.

Brian D. Wall, Centreville, VA

Down Pat MUGGER: Okay, I know you'll find this media-hypnotized niggling, but George W. Bush won the South Carolina primary by winning an overwhelming majority of the Christian conservative vote, a group herded to the polls by the usual cant and blather?"McCain is the fag candidate!" was my favorite?and in record numbers.

Shocked that he let John McCain define him in New Hampshire, Boy George takes bold steps. He allows Pat Robertson to define him in South Carolina. Oh, and he yells now, at ever increasing volume, which is amusing, particularly when the text is, "Is our children learning?"

Apparently not. Sitting on Pat Robertson's lap is a winner in South Carolina. But the reason the media?that's right, the media?slobbered all over Bush in the first place was that he looked like a Republican with a difference, and he had a neat slogan, "compassionate conservatism." Now he looks like someone who will limp out of the Republican convention with the same old culture-wars albatross around his neck, and it should feel familiar. His father wore it too.

Harley Peyton, Santa Monica

Lucky You, Jon Re: Jonathan Ames' 2/9 farewell "City Slicker" column:

I want to know what women grab when they're nervous. And if I grab it first, what happens then? I finally know what to call the "Pre-Kirk Captain." They don't have penises?! Wait! Wait! I haven't finished counting the words in those paragraphs yet!

And I feel the same way about women in panties. That's a great word, isn't it? Just say it?panty. Hey, wait a minute, what was I saying? Oh yeah. I've got a 20, Jonny. Where are you going to be? The next Royal Rumble? I'll be there! Uh, Jonny? Can you get a couple of tickets?

Okay, I'll wait.

Justin J. Hyppolite Jr., Brooklyn

Leash Law I'm in complete agreement with your 2/9 "Opinion" piece, "Adorables Amuck," by Tim Ferguson. I'm a single mother of three energetic young boys, and it is not my prerogative to go anywhere with my bundles of joy, who can be full of restless energy. Not only is it unfair to other people, it is unfair to the children themselves.

Not until a child can comprehend what appropriate behavior is should he be subjected to an environment that isn't child-friendly. Placing a young child in an adult environment is deliberately inflicting punishment on that child.

Dannette Smikle, Manhattan

Soup Bones Why does Andrey Slivka go so ad hominem in his piece on Hillary Clinton ("New York City," 2/23)? I've noticed several people lately remarking on her "fat ankles," her ass that was issued its own ZIP code, etc.

I chuckled at the ZIP code zinger, which I hadn't heard before, but I think it's wrong to go after people that way. What puzzles me is that I see people doing it to Hillary but not to others who are more obvious targets.

I take that as an indication of a really visceral dislike of the woman. One of the few things I will grant Hillary is that she is quite attractive?a marked improvement over most of Bill's amours. She certainly looks much better than she did 30 years ago, when she seemed to be deliberately trying to look homely (I guess it went with her politics).

Anybody who could wear those incredibly ugly glasses is definitely not normal. Today, on the other hand, she is living proof of what money can do for a woman's looks?and that beauty is only skin deep, as her Secret Service detail will amply attest. For example, there was the lovely incident in which a Secret Service agent smiled at her and said, "Good morning, Mrs. Clinton," at the South Portico, and she shoved him out of the way and said, "Get fucked!" And there were many, many other similar incidents. It seems the First Lady really resents her security detail and sees it as an invasion of her privacy. An understandable reaction, perhaps, for someone with a deep and well-founded dislike of witnesses who may talk, ones who seem to be turning up all the time and who may yet, if there is a God, land her in jail. (The privacy of the 900 Clinton enemies whose FBI files turned up in the White House living quarters with guess whose fingerprints all over them is a different matter. That was just a "bureaucratic snafu." See the difference?) Reportedly her Secret Service agents had several meetings on the subject of her abusive behavior and foul mouth, and considered filing an official complaint against her.

Anyway, it seems a shame to harp on her appearance when she has so many other repugnant aspects that are much juicier targets.

Joe Rodrigue, New Haven

Pop Movement MUGGER: I used to mow the lawn of an elderly couple in Merrick, NY, and they would ply me with Cornell black cherry soda (it was delivered in bottles). It was the nectar of the gods.

Anyway, can you put in a plug and see if it still exists? If you find it, your reward will be trying it.

Ray Martin, Ridgefield, CT